Recent Work

Stool Sample: Jeff Koons

Stool Sample: Jeff Koons, 2008, Painted wood.

Shown in the “Quart Bag” show at Civilian Art Projects in Washington, DC, in August, 2008.

Private Collection.

Emergency Assault Weapon

Emergency Assault Weapon, 2007, Steel.

Do you ever get tired of having to dial 911 and then having to wait 10, 15 minutes for the police to arrive? Now you don't have to. Take matters into your own hands with the Emergency Assault Weapon and make your neighborhood a safer place. Urge your local government to invest in these and soon you'll understand the phrase “an armed society is a safer society.”

Coming soon: Flexgun—swipe your credit or debit card and take the gun for as long as you like. Many types of firearms available—including fully automatic weapons, like an AR-15, previously available only to law enforcement! No licensing necessary.

Emergency Assault Weapon (detail)

Emergency Assault Weapon (detail), 2007, Steel.

In Bed With Exxon

In Bed With Exxon, 2007, Steel, aluminum, plastic.

Collection of Dick Cheney.

Got loads of money? Tired of the same ol' ways of flaunting it? Show off your connections and your power with the perfect accessory. Great for sleeping, sexing, and reading (integral light source included).

Bedside Monolith

Bedside Monolith, 2007, Steel, aluminum.

9:4:1? Forget it. Our research has demonstrated a 3:9:32 ratio is preferable. Now you can have a powerful monolith in your very own bedroom! This one even comes with a handy shelf!

Note: the picture shows an “alarm clock” on the shelf. We do not recommend putting electrical appliances within 5 meters of the device as electromagnetic interference may decrease performance.

TV Table With Legs

TV Table With Legs, 2007, 60" plasma television, flesh, blood, and clothing.

The First Table to Land on Mars

The First Table to Land on Mars, 2006, Steel, aluminum.

The conversation piece that all the conversation pieces are talking about. Who else can say they have the first table to land on Mars? I bet your friends didn't even know a table landed on Mars! This aluminum and steel coffee table is engineered for heavy payloads and soft landings. 27" x 43". Table height is 18", antenna height is 49" for extra strong reception. Larger images [need link]. Click here to see a quick video of the table suspension in action! (YouTube)

Note: the suspension does not give until approximately 30lbs of force is applied to the table top. Table top will remain level and sturdy while supporting plenty of books, coffee mugs, and MarsTM bars before collapsing.